I'm Home today doing a Great deal of nothing.

you ever just want to float over the earth to get a quick view of what you're more than likely missing out on?

Whenever I'm alone in my house i start worrying about a great deal of things that maybe i shouldn't worry about.

I'm only 19 and i feel like I've wasted so much time doing all the wrong things.

since i was probably 5 years old I've wanted to go horseback riding. i Secretly LOVE horses, but i never talk about it, because my cousin rode horses and i didn't want anyone to think i was being a Copycat. but i love horses and I've always wanted to ride one. i promised myself that i would do it but still haven't.

maybe a couple posts from now, ill be reporting about my horse riding trip. lol


Oh And today i was Listening To Common [the rapper for the dingos out there]
and the Track was " I want You"
i was barely listening but some of the lyrics struck me

Lyrics :

Once the love was strong
Now it's long, long gone
Cause the pain, pain now as a storm
I would make, growing old
Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you

I've been thinking bout, I've been thinking bout
I've been thinking bout you lately
Thoughts take me to when we were close
Addicted to your love, feel I need another dose
I know it's a feeling that should be long gone
Things seem to come up when I hear our song
Golden brown girl, it seemed so long
Since I heard your voice, where did the king go wrong?
Emotions that, that they linger on
I guess cause I never knew a love so strong
So many hot girls I need your warm
The taste of your mouth girl I need your warm
Good food and love I need your warm
This here was made before we were born
A dreamer so I'm a keep dreaming on
It's kind of like 'The Breakup' with Jen and Vince Vaughn

Once the love was strong
Now it's long, long gone
Cause the pain, pain now as a scorn
I remained all alone
Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you
Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you

They say you don't know, know, know what you got
Till what u got is gone
Yeah I write such and such, yo a lot but the feelings not as strong
We were like 2 birds that were able to fly
I try to pick the right words to say to the sky
Some days I would try but wasn't able to cry
I never been good at saying goodbye
I take a deep breath when the times is hard
When I reminisce over you, my God
I spent many years trying to be the heartthrob
I guess it's only right that I got my heart robbed
The scent of a room that reminds me of you
A hint of perfume it reminds me of you
Take a look at the moon it reminds me of you
Hope the stars and the gods align me and you
We do what we do and we do what we live
I love this way cause I got it as a kid
With so much to give from it, I never hid
The love that I wrote on the mirror it got smeared
My friends say it was a change for the better
But I say, girl you changed my forever
Relationships they can be as strange as the weather
Rain or sun we can sing this together

Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you
Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you


its crazy how you can hear a song and it strikes up feeling that you believed you were long past.
I kept replaying it and was like "damn this speaks to me" but its a song about relationships..that Only speaks to me. I'm getting more and more comfortable with the notion that, if i was ever truly loved or i would be ever truly loved i would never know until it was proven. I'm that stony now that me matters before most and i don't believe in that lifestyle anymore.

well i have more nothing to carry on with, so I'm going to get to it

- J to the" i want cookies"